It's been a long time

It's been a long time. A lot has happened in that time. To me, to you, to everybody. We can skip over all of that. 

Not too long after my last rather optimistic post, I took a long break.  

Once I stepped down as Montengarde's A&S champion, I was gone, more or less. And then of course, thanks to COVID, everybody else took a rather long break, too. 

I still believe what I said back then, which is that you should never say never.  You must become comfortable with discomfort. You pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving, no matter what. 

We've had a year or two back together now, and while some old wounds still linger, many of us are making the effort to start new. In reading back over my old posts, there are many lessons I still have yet to learn and personal characteristics yet to successfully tackle, but we keep walking, don't we?

What do I do now? Mostly, fencing. I really was the walking dead a couple of years ago. I made a decision to change a lot of things about the way I was carrying on, and a year and a bit ago I picked up a sword for the first time. 

I have been studying La Verdadera Destreza, a Spanish combat system. It has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. I have made a lot new friends and deepened some old friendships, too. 

Right now, I am assisting in rebuilding our regional rapier practice. There have been some struggles on the way and there continue to be, but we want to make it a safe place for everyone to feel welcomed just as they are, without fear of judgement, danger or prejudice. It's growing, slowly. I hope that is able to continue. 

I am working harder to stop being a doormat. I see a lot of posts here about avoiding conflict and carefully smoothing things over, which is good, but not what I needed then and not what I need now. Sometimes you need to know when to build a backbone. Not having one is not a kindness. It just means allowing someone down the line to take the hard blow that you dodged. 

I've gotten really into occult and religious topics, cunning craft, folklore and magic more broadly in the last couple of years. I've always been a dabbler here and there - even in the super-Catholic days - but the last two years have thrown a spotlight on it, so you'll probably see some of that here, too. 

In an SCA context, there are some things on these topics that I'd like to bring into classes and demonstrations at some point that I think would be sort of interesting for people. 

What do I not do now? I am trying very hard to approach the SCA with slightly more open eyes this time, and that includes intentionally and selectively choosing where to invest my time and energy. I do not volunteer for things just because I'm afraid nobody else will do it. I'm trying to work on avoiding "herding" other people who, quite frankly, do not need or want a sheepdog. 

It's my goal to make more friends, have fun, and help other people have fun in small, meaningful ways - that's all, right now. 

Does that make me a poor protégé? Maybe. But micro-protégé work is something that I feel like I have space for right now. I can help one person get to an event, be a listening ear, pay for a gate fee, buy a coffee, move a table, help marshal, put a sword in a hand, donate a prize, and tell someone how much I appreciate them. 

I'm not going to set the world on fire, I'm not setting any Knowne World records for the best event stewarding of all time, but small things done with love are what I have to offer at the moment. 

Right now, I don't do A&S competitions. I judge a little when needed, I go to A&S night, but competitions are out for me. I don't do culinary and feast stuff right now, unless it's to help with a meal someone else has organized or just for fun at home. 

What's this blog for? I'm not really sure. I have a fight journal that I write in regularly, but it is full of very private thoughts and some things I'm working through as I go. 

I think this blog will probably be a public extension of that, plus a log of some of the SCA-relevant projects I'm working on, as before. 

If you choose to read, I'm delighted. Feel free to reach out with any questions. 

Also. Alice died in the plague. I'm Allert, now. So, nice to meet you.